The Emotional English and Their Queen of Hearts

Datos Bibliográficos

ID8932001
AutoresLucy Biddle (0000-0002-1090-8771, University of Reading, autor de correspondencia), Tony Walter (0000-0001-9571-5225, University of Reading)
Año1998
Volumen109
Número1-2
Páginas96-99
Fecha de publicación1998-01-01
Peer ReviewedSí
Open AccessNo
TipoARTICLE
RevistaFolklore (JOURNAL)
Identificadores de la revistaISSN: 0015-587X • E-ISSN: 1469-8315
EditorialRoutledge (PUBLISHER • GB)
DOI10.1080/0015587x.1998.9715965
OpenAlexW2032354203
IdiomaEN
Citas recibidas9
Referencias citadas4

Those who document folk customs of present, rather than past, always run risk of becoming out-of-date even as they publish. Such, one of us (Tony Walter) feared was his fate when, only three weeks after publication of his piece Emotional Reserve and English Way of (Walter 1997), Diana Princess of Wales died unexpectedly in a car crash in a Paris underpass, along with her companion, Dodi Fayed, and driver of car. The massive public response to her death caused several commentators to wonder whether British had overnight lost their much-famed reserve and turned into a more emotional people. Was this, in fact, case? Private Versus Expressive Grief Walter's piece had outlined norms currently governing bereaved people in England (omitting detailed consideration of Wales, Scotland and Ireland, as they complicate an already complicated picture). It suggested that there are currently at least six norms or sets of expectations to which bereaved English people are subject, some of these expectations conflicting with others. The two major norms identified were private grief and expressive grief. Private grief, paper argued, is dominant norm. According to this norm, bereaved grieve in private, behind closed doors, and hold themselves together when in public situations--in supermarket, at work and, most notably of all, at funeral. As an In Memoriam notice in a regional newspaper put it (late 1970s): No-one knows my sorrow Few have seen me weep I cry from a broken heart While others are asleep. But, and this is an important but, when in public mourner should give subtle hints that deep down s/he is grieving deeply (the In Memoriam notice does this perfectly). Others then feel grateful to bereaved for holding themselves together when in company. This norm has definite merit that it allows reciprocity: bereaved are doing something for sake of others, while those others show some consideration for bereaved person's condition. This norm is illustrated by comments as funeral party emerge from crematorium. Wasn't she brave? they say, meaning that widow in front pew held herself together, even though they could see from odd dab of handkerchief that she was finding whole thing a great ordeal. This may be termed a competent performance of private grief. No hankie, and there are suspicions that maybe she didn't care for her husband after all, or that she was excessively dosed on tranquillisers. Expressive grief is a very different norm, emanating from more expressive U.S.A. and promoted in U.K. by what Bernice Martin terms the expressive notably certain healthcare and social workers (Martin 1981). This norm takes for granted a certain view of emotions, namely that if they are not let out they will fester within and all kinds of pathology will ensue. Though research by no means entirely justifies this assumption (e.g. Wortman and Silver 1989; Cleiren 1991), it is to be found in virtually all bereavement leaflets currently produced in U.K. While stating that bereavement reactions are highly varied and individual, these leaflets almost invariably advise don't bottle it up and it's good to cry. But, Walter argued, this view was largely propagated by expressive professions, along with certain subgroups, such as gay people with AIDS. He argued that these two norms, private and expressive grief, were in considerable tension in British culture. An example might be Princess Diana's B.B.C. television interview a couple of years previously in which she bared her soul to world. Her audience was split. Many loved her for--in Shakespeare's phrase--giving words to sorrow. Many, though, hated her for not keeping her troubles to herself; verbalising one's personal troubles was for them in bad taste and was certainly not how nation got through depression and two world wars

Criminology · Grief · Norm (philosophy · Political science · Psychiatry · Psychoanalysis · Shame · Sociology · Sorrow · Wonder · Folklore, Mythology, and Literature Studies · Grief, Bereavement, and Mental Health · History · Law · Medieval Literature and History · Psychology · Social Psychology