Digital Desires, Real Losses

Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social NetworkingAhead of Print Free AccessDigital Desires, Real Losses: The Complex World of Online Romance FraudBrenda K. WiederholdBrenda K. WiederholdBrenda K. Wiederhold, Editor-in-ChiefSearch for more papers by this authorPublished Online:12 Mar 2024https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2024.29311.editorialAboutSectionsPDF/EPUB Permissions & CitationsDownload CitationsTrack CitationsAdd to favorites Back To Publication ShareShare onFacebookXLinked InRedditEmail In the age of digital connection, people seek connection and companionship through the click of a button or the swipe of a screen. However, among other challenges with online dating, such as crafting the perfect profile and striking up a meaningful conversation with a stranger, the threat of deception looms large. In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported falling victim to a romance scam, amounting to losses in the range of $1.3 billion (and that's only what people were willing to report—the actual number may be far higher).1These scams are characterized by the manipulation of individuals who are already in a vulnerable state of mind: they are looking for love in the digital world. Scammers use the power of electronic communication to fabricate emotional bonds and then exploit those bonds for economic gain. Understanding the nuanced characteristics of both victims and scammers in online romance scams, alongside the ways through which these crimes are perpetrated, is crucial for developing comprehensive prevention strategies that can effectively safeguard individuals and communities against the devastating financial and emotional consequences of online romance scams.Who Are the Victims of Online Romance Scams?Anyone can be a victim of a scam, but research indicates that romance scam victims tend to be middle-aged, well-educated women who score higher on measures of impulsivity and lack of self-control.2 It's possible that this demographic is more prevalent on dating platforms because they have more disposable income than other groups, or they are more likely to seek out partners on dating apps and websites. Regardless, their psychological traits make them more predisposed to becoming victims of online scams. Scammers tend to manipulate their victims to send requests for money, usually with a fabricated sense of urgency. In a study examining the psychological characteristics of romance scam victims, victims were more impulsive and sensation seeking than those who had never been scammed, which may explain why they were willing to comply with a scammer's requests in the face of a fake emergency.2Notably, victims were also more likely to score higher on addiction characteristics compared to nonvictims, which aligns with the gamification that many dating apps and websites employ to keep users returning to their platforms. For example, popular dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble use a variety of approaches—such as setting a deadline for users to send a message after they match with someone and displaying potential local matches—to keep people engaged.3 For some, these gamification elements eventually lead to meaningful connections with potential partners. For others, impulsivity and addictive behaviors keep people hooked and invested in their pursuit of love, to the point that some victims find it difficult to believe that they have been scammed—even when told by law enforcement.4The Profile of a ScammerScammers use a range of complicated methods to manipulate their victims over time. The scammer will create a fake dating profile and pursue a romantic relationship with their victim for six to eight months, developing a deep yet one-sided emotional bond during that time.5 First, the scammer will use empathetic behavior to create the impression that they are perfectly aligned with their victim's view of life, to the point that a declaration of love is sometimes made within two weeks from initial contact. This contact may start on a dating app or social media site and then move quickly to a private one-on-one messaging platform, such as WhatsApp or Telegram—a move that both helps fabricate a false sense of intimacy and prevents the victim from studying the scammer's dating profile too closely.This level of grooming not only plays on the victim's insecurities, but also establishes a deep level of trust between the victim and their scammer. They may feel as though they have finally found their missing piece—which blinds them to the reality that they are falling for a lie. From this point, the victim and scammer will begin to discuss actually meeting up in person, only to have the meeting delayed by a series of urgent problems or desperate situations that may involve manipulating the victim into sending the scammer money. The scammer may also ask for small gifts, slowly increasing the monetary value of their gifts over time, until the victim provides large sums of money without having met their partner in person. The financial impact is quite high: in 2023, an estimated 57,000 Americans lost more than $638.6 million in romance scams.6 Notably, these gifts are not limited to Amazon wishlists and cash.The FBI recently reported that scammers are crafting cryptocurrency and investment scams. In 2023, the FBI noted a 183% increase in the amount lost to crypto investment scams, from $907 million in 2021 to $2.57 billion in 2022.7 In these instances, the scammer will convince the victim that they'll teach them how to invest—but any money they "invest" will go back to the scammer.Scammers increasingly employ advanced technologies, including bots and artificial intelligence (AI), to craft fake profiles and launch scams. Scammers use bots to create new accounts at a massive scale, which opens up more opportunities to match with a potential victim. AI enables these bots to have automated interactions with their matches to lure people into sending money. Although one would hope that they would be able to detect that they're chatting with a bot, the reality is that AI technology can carry convincingly human conversations—and people who are motivated to find love may be willing to overlook red flags that they're chatting with a bot. According to cybersecurity company Arkose Labs, dating apps experienced a 2,087% rise in bot attacks between January 2023 and January 2024.8The Impact of Romance ScamsOnline dating scams have two levels of impact: financial and emotional. It is difficult to estimate the financial impact of romance scams because people may feel too embarrassed to report the crime, or they may not even be aware a crime has occurred. The Federal Trade Commission estimates that the median reported loss for romance scam victims is $4,400.10 According to a survey by AARP, 14% of U.S. adults have been targeted by a relationship scam, and 4% were victims.9 Among those victims, 57% lost money or suffered other financial losses.For many victims, the emotional impact of being scammed is just as damaging. Once the scam is discovered, the victim may experience feelings of shock, anger, shame, emotional violation, loss of trust, or mourning for the loss of both money and love.2 The loss of a partner is a traumatic event, even if the partner was never truly real. To compound these complicated feelings, some scammers will convince their victims to share explicit photos. If the victim does not comply with requests to send money, the scammer may threaten to release the photos to social media contacts. This practice, called sextortion, has increased more than eightfold since 2019, and people aged 18–29 are more than six times as likely to report sextortion than people 30 and over.9 The psychological impacts of sextortion can affect people both short term and long term. Short-term impacts include worry, stress, anxiety, and self-blame, while long-term impacts include enduring episodes of anxiety.11Online dating scams have, in some cases, proven to be deadly. After at least eight Americans died in Colombia amid dozens of cases involving male tourists who were held captive and robbed over the past year, the U.S. Embassy issued a warning to tourists, urging caution for U.S. citizens meeting people through online dating platforms.12 In one instance, a Minnesota man named Tou Ger Xiong went out on a date in the Colombian city of Medellín. Soon after, he asked family and friends back home to wire him $2,000, telling them he had been kidnapped and held for ransom. Despite his kidnappers receiving the money, Xiong's body was found the next day.Dating Scam Prevention and Support StrategiesHow do we protect people from falling victim to online dating scams? Prevention programs and awareness campaigns need to be integrated into dating apps, and discussions about personal safety in the Digital Age should emphasize these measures. While dating apps are commonplace among people of all ages with a smartphone today, less attention is paid to basic best practices, such as never sending money to someone a person has only met online. Just as you would exercise caution if a stranger asked for your banking information in person, the same level of vigilance is necessary for online interactions. Given scammers' skill in manipulating trust, any early requests for personal information or funds after matching should raise immediate red flags. Urgent requests, such as those for emergency funds or quick investment opportunities, warrant skepticism, especially when the parties have not met in person.The future of dating apps may involve encouraging people to schedule a date face-to-face in order to mitigate some of the risks of dating scams. A new wave of online dating apps are designed to get people to meet in person soon after matching.13 This shift in design has several benefits: it puts a limit on the endless back-and-forth messages and dropped conversations (also known as ghosting) that run rampant on conventional dating apps and websites, and it allows people to confirm that they are talking to a real person with verifiable information. Meeting in person soon after connecting can also carry risks, but these risks can be mitigated with some personal safety steps, such as sharing one's location with a loved one before meeting up and only meeting in public places for the first few dates.The challenge of combating online romance scams is not only about understanding human psychology but also about navigating the complexities of modern technology. It is against this backdrop that we must marshal our resources, knowledge, and ingenuity to shield potential victims from the harms of online romance scams, ensuring that the quest for love and connection in the Digital Age does not lead to financial ruin and heartbreak.References1. Anderson KB. To whom do victims of mass-market consumer fraud complain? https://ssrn.com/abstract=3852323 (accessed Feb. 12, 2024). Google Scholar2. Whitty MT. Do you love me? Psychological characteristics of romance scam victims. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, & Social Networking 2018; 21:105–109. Link, Google Scholar3. Vermes J. Apps made dating a game. That's changing our relationship to matchmaking—and each other. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/gamification-apps-big-dating-1.6746490 (accessed Feb. 14, 2024). Google Scholar4. Whitty MT. The scammers persuasive techniques model: development of a stage model to explain the online dating romance scam. British Journal of Criminology 2013; 53:665–684. Crossref, Google Scholar5. Coluccia A, Pozza A, Ferretti F, et al. Online romance scams: relational dynamics and psychological characteristics of the victims and scammers. A scoping review. Clinical Practice & Epidemiology in Mental Health 2020; 16:24–35. Crossref, Medline, Google Scholar6. Bischoff P. Nearly 57,000 Americans lost over $638.6 million to romance scams in 2023. https://www.comparitech.com/blog/vpn-privacy/romance-scams/ (accessed Feb. 13, 2024). Google Scholar7. Federal Bureau of Investigation. Internet crime report 2022. https://www.ic3.gov/Media/PDF/AnnualReport/2022_IC3Report.pdf (accessed Feb. 14, 2024). Google Scholar8. Quraishi A, Corral A. Online dating scams peak ahead of Valentine's Day. Here are warning signs you may be falling for a chatbot. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/online-dating-scams-chatbots/ (accessed Feb. 13, 2024). Google Scholar9. Sauer J, Williams A. Online relationship scams: protect your heart and your wallet. https://www.aarp.org/pri/topics/social-leisure/relationships/online-romance-scams/ (accessed Feb. 14, 2024). Google Scholar10. Fletcher E. Romance scammers' favorite lies exposed. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2023/02/romance-scammers-favorite-lies-exposed (accessed Feb. 12, 2024). Google Scholar11. O'Malley RL. Short-term and long-term impacts of financial sextortion on victim's mental well-being. Journal of Interpersonal Violence 2023; 38:8563–8592. Crossref, Medline, Google Scholar12. Vyas K. Americans Looking for Love Are Getting Killed by Gangs in Colombia. Wall Street Journal, January 20, 2024. https://www.wsj.com/world/americas/americans-looking-for-love-are-getting-killed-by-gangs-in-colombia-b12d7671 (accessed Feb. 12, 2024). Google Scholar13. Bursztynsky J. Dating apps are creating unique new experiences to get people to meet in person. https://www.cnbc.com/2022/03/19/dating-apps-like-thursday-offer-unique-new-ways-to-meet-people.html (accessed Feb. 14, 2024). Google ScholarFiguresReferencesRelatedDetails Volume 0Issue 0 InformationCopyright 2024, Mary Ann Liebert, Inc., publishersTo cite this article:Brenda K. Wiederhold.Digital Desires, Real Losses: The Complex World of Online Romance Fraud.Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking.ahead of printhttp://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2024.29311.editorialOnline Ahead of Print:March 12, 2024 TopicsDigital media and internet PDF download

Advertising · Business · Computer security · Conversation · Deception · Friendship · Internet privacy · Psychoanalysis · Romance · SwIPe · Communication · Computer Science · Cybercrime and Law Enforcement Studies · Psychology · Sexuality, Behavior, and Technology · Social Psychology · Stalking, Cyberstalking, and Harassment

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