What Does “Primary” Mean? A Qualitative Investigation of Hierarchies in Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships

Bibliographic Data

ID12467071
AuthorsJennifer Arter (0000-0002-8115-8285, San Francisco State University, corresponding author), Sacha S Bunge (San Francisco State University), Sacha Bunge
Year2025
Volume29
Issue3
Pages1281-1296
Publication date2025-01-21
Peer ReviewedYes
Open AccessYes
TypeARTICLE
VenueSexuality & Culture (JOURNAL)
Journal identifiersISSN: 1095-5143 • E-ISSN: 1936-4822
PublisherSpringer Science+Business Media (PUBLISHER • DE)
DOI10.1007/s12119-025-10323-6
OpenAlexW4406684078
LanguageEN
Citations received2
References cited41

In research on consensual nonmonogamy (CNM), there have been calls both to move away from assumptions about relationships that are based on monogamous norms, and to move away from examining broad “types” of CNM (e.g., “polyamory” versus “swinging”). We propose that a focus on specific CNM practices and how they vary provides an opportunity to work toward both of these goals. One identifiable CNM practice is that of hierarchical relationship structures (i.e., those with “primary” and “secondary” partners); these appear to be common but not universal, and to contain wide variations in the way individuals define and use (or avoid) them. In this study, we explore individuals’ self-described use of and opinions about hierarchies via semi-structured interviews with 51 adults (63% white/European, 55% nonbinary/genderqueer, 77% LGBQ) residing in the U.S. who have practiced CNM. Using reflexive thematic analysis, we delineate a broad spectrum of hierarchy practices as described by participants, ranging from clear and strong hierarchies at one extreme to active rejection of hierarchies at the other. Despite this wide range, participants across the spectrum agreed on some key points, including both that some amount of prioritizing among relationships is inevitable and that priorities are never immune from change. Our results suggest that hierarchies can be defined and used in a range of ways or can be actively avoided, and demonstrate that exploring the nuanced variations within particular CNM practices may be an important way of moving past broad labels and assumptions about those who practice CNM

Physics · Primary (astronomy · Sociology · Islamic Finance and Banking Studies · Marriage and Sexual Relationships · Mathematics · Psychology

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