The Activation and Restoration of Shame in an Intimate Relationship

A First-Hand Account of Self-Injury

Bibliographic Data

ID12875344
AuthorsNina Veetnisha Gunnarsson (0000-0001-8948-1055, Jönköping University, corresponding author)
Year2021
Volume17
Issue2
Pages104-121
Publication date2021-04-30
Peer ReviewedYes
Open AccessYes
TypeARTICLE
VenueQualitative Sociology Review (JOURNAL)
Journal identifiersISSN: 1733-8077 • E-ISSN: 1733-8077
PublisherUniwersytet Lodzki (University of Lodz) (PUBLISHER)
DOI10.18778/1733-8077.17.2.06
OpenAlexW3160237215
LanguageEN
Citations received6
References cited44

This paper is grounded in a first-hand account of my own experiences with self-injury and shame. By using my personal diary entries as support for this account and a sociological framework of shame, I explore the process of shame and shame reactions in an intimate relationship. I illustrate how shame was activated by my internalized critical other, how the shame cycle de-stabilized my relationship, and, finally, how shame was restored through the other’s validation and acceptance, or how it led to more shame managed by self-injury. However, this account is not simply about self-analysis, or a need to indulge in my pain; rather, it is an inner dialogue that rests on the commitment to develop a richer understanding of the personal and interpersonal experiences of self-injury and shame. Today, I finally understand how shame works and this has helped me to not get caught up in my emotions. So, although shame may take a hold of me at times, I am no longer, like before, controlled by my shame

Interpersonal communication · Interpersonal relationship · Psychoanalysis · Shame · Emotions and Moral Behavior · Psychology · Psychology of Social Influence · Psychotherapy Techniques and Applications · Social Psychology

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Open DOIOpen Access