Consoling the Bereaved

Exploring How Sympathy Cards Influence What People Say

Bibliographic Data

ID13629102
AuthorsKimberly A Calderwood (0000-0001-8392-1902, Department of Social Work, Trent University Durham, Oshawa, ON, Canada, corresponding author), Amy M Alberton (0000-0002-4746-0704, Wichita State University)
Year2022
Volume88
Issue4
Pages1572-1590
Publication date2022-01-26
Peer ReviewedYes
Open AccessYes
TypeARTICLE
VenueOMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying (JOURNAL)
Journal identifiersISSN: 0030-2228 • E-ISSN: 1541-3764
PublisherSAGE Publishing (PUBLISHER • US)
DOI10.1177/00302228211065958
PMID35081840
OpenAlexW4210644608
LanguageEN
Citations received2
References cited18

In a sequential mixed methods study, interview data showed that bereaved parents consistently reported "stupid" or "insensitive" things people said that were not helpful when their child died. Subsequently, a discourse analysis of 170 sympathy cards was conducted to assess societal messaging that may influence people's insensitive words. The findings reflected two distinct time periods in the bereavement process: a time of sadness followed by a time of peace. Possible links to insensitive things people said included: suggestions that the sad time should only last a few days, suggestions of "healing," religious statements such as the deceased being with God or advice to pray to God, and notions of celebration in some contexts. Very few excerpts were similar to the advice-giving quotes that interviewees considered to be insensitive. Many cards reflected the love and memories inherent in creating a continuing bond with the deceased and achieving peace

Anger · Grief · Psychotherapist · Sadness · Sympathy · Death Anxiety and Social Exclusion · Grief, Bereavement, and Mental Health · Migration, Health and Trauma · Psychology · Social Psychology