When Relief Replaces Loss

Parental Hatred That Forecloses Loving Attachment

Bibliographic Data

ID20179283
AuthorsEdward T Novak (Russian State Agrarian Correspondence University, corresponding author)
Year2014
Volume44
Issue4
Pages255-267
Publication date2014-10-01
Peer ReviewedYes
Open AccessNo
TypeARTICLE
VenueTransactional Analysis Journal (JOURNAL)
Journal identifiersISSN: 0362-1537 • E-ISSN: 2329-5244
PublisherInforma UK Limited (PUBLISHER • GB)
DOI10.1177/0362153714557794
OpenAlexW2025548411
LanguageEN
Citations received2
References cited19

In the world of childhood trauma and abuse, there is a subset of children who not only endure abuse from a parent or caregiver but are also hated. In treatment, accurately identifying this hatred can help clients who struggle, for example, with feelings of indifference to aging or dying parents. This article explores issues created for individuals who were hated by a parent or caregiver, including the loss of a loving relationship with the parent before one ever existed. The author distinguishes between moments of hate and sustained parental hatred that defines the parent-child relationship. Attachment theory is used to examine the early parent-child dynamic. The author addresses the importance of working at the transgressive edge between protocol that disavowed the parent’s hatred and the client’s experience of being hated. Clinical vignettes, including the author’s own experience of being hated by a parent, are used throughout the article to link theory with clinical experience and application

Psychoanalysis · Transactional analysis · Personality Disorders and Psychopathology · Psychology · Psychotherapy Techniques and Applications · Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy