Partners Becoming Parents

Partners Becoming Parents: Talks from the Tavistock Marital Studies Institute. Christopher Clulow (Ed.). London: Sheldon Press. 1996. 209 pp. ISBN 0-85969-739-9. $24.95 paper. The transition to parenthood is regarded as one of the most significant changes in the family life cycle. Besides joy and fulfillment, the birth of the first child entails changes that require major adjustments in couples' lives. This is even truer in contemporary society where diverse lifestyles, new technologies, and changing socioeconomic circumstances cause the journey from partnership to parenthood, and vice versa, to be less and less clear. Partners Becoming Parents-edited by Christopher Clulow, the director of the Tavistock Marital Studies Institute-addresses the connection between partnering and parenting in times of social change. Twelve distinguished contributors examine this interplay from different perspectives and address two main questions. How do children change relationships, and how do parental relationships affect the development of children? Penny Mansfield reviews the purpose of contemporary marriage in the light of its transformation over the past decades, characterized by early sexual experience, delayed marriage, and cohabitation. She argues that commitment and a sense of the future are necessary ingredients for the secure anchorage that is needed when partners become parents. Penelope Leach discusses the dichotomy that characterizes the way family relationships are thought of in an increasingly individualistic society, a dichotomy that is expressed in the question, Who comes first-partner or child? Children are more and more thought of as what drives couples apart, instead of the glue that holds the marriage together. She addresses an additional issue that dominates current family life: the choice between job and family. Marcus Johns provides a psychoanalytical perspective and discusses the difficulties of three-person relationships. He suggests that the loss of the illusion of possessive exclusivity is probably the most difficult developmental hurdle in life. Although most men and women who want and expect to be parents realize this aspiration at some point in their life, some couples encounter the tragedy of infertility. Lynne Cudmore describes the experiences of couples who seek medical help to have children and addresses the powerful impact of infertility on the identity of men and women and on couples' relationships. Joan Raphael-Leff describes the personal narratives of feelings, fears, and fantasies that men and women construct from their experiences of pregnancy and parenthood and presents her model of the placental paradigm

Marital Therapy · Psychoanalysis · Psychotherapist · Sociology · Family Dynamics and Relationships · Psychology

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