Call Me by My True Names

(inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh)Maylei Sugunya Rojanasakul BlackwellCall me by my true namesCall to the truth of me My name My powerThe song of my being the chant of my bones the soul’s mantraMy true names with thirteen lettersA mouthful of continents consonants and not enough vowelsToo many syllables for your tongue to untangle The rhythm The orderThe rhyme of my true nameThe name imprinted on my heart Tucked in my bowels The sound of my flightI dreaded roll call each dayWaiting for the teacher to butcher my name And for the killing to burn shame into my being Marking my differenceMay-lieMee-layMost did not even attempt my last nameRojanaskul I was raised on American jokes about the Mỹ Lai massacre Amidst the linguist melee colonial legacyChildren learn letters by writing their names An exercise for beginners Mine used half the letters in the alphabetKinder The garden where some plants are rooted in privilege While others grow in shadows that cast doubtMy mama sang me my name Made the letters rhyme with me R-o-j a-n-a s-k u-lCall me by my true name The one you can not pronounce The very one that speaks me into beingThe one that called my spirit forth from the cradle of ancestors To navigate a long passageTo embody this flesh breathe in this place on earthWe come into being, they say, because we choose this time we can handle this particular conjuncture Enlightenment with madness spirit with greed sleep with awakeningThe great turning amidst great upheavalCall me by my true names The exotic other Unknowable to youYour imagined shadowYour repudiated selfMy true names do not roll off your tongueMy names the thick ones, the thin the sweet, the bitch the placid, the rage My open hand, My fist

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