And we gossip about my life as if I am not there’

An autoethnography on recovery from infidelity and silence in the academic workplace

Bibliographic Data

ID9890303
AuthorsTruus van de Berg (corresponding author)
Year2022
Volume75
Issue11
Pages2039-2057
Publication date2022-11-01
Peer ReviewedYes
Open AccessYes
TypeARTICLE
VenueHuman Relations (JOURNAL)
Journal identifiersISSN: 0018-7267 • E-ISSN: 1741-282X
PublisherSAGE Publications (PUBLISHER • US)
DOI10.1177/00187267211022264
OpenAlexW3165343823
LanguageEN
Citations received6
References cited53

In this autoethnography, I engage with betrayal trauma from my husband’s infidelity as it relates to recovery and my academic identity, and my work performance. As I navigate between the trauma, the stigma and taboo, the shame and lack of knowledge, my responsibilized academic self, the collegial interactions, and the question of whether keeping silent robbed me of my voice, I distinguish toxic secrets, hurtful silencing and healing silence. Although the exploitative nature of the academic workplace had never been more visceral, I also found that a tending silence contributed to my protection and my recovery. In silence, my academic life is opening up to embracing needs rather than enduring hardships, to inviting rather than striving, to vulnerability rather than empowerment

Aesthetics · Autoethnography · Betrayal · Empowerment · Gossip · Identity (music · Psychoanalysis · Shame · Silence · Sociology · Taboo · Vulnerability (computing · Emotional Labor in Professions · Gender Studies · Law · Management and Organizational Studies · Mentoring and Academic Development · Psychology · Social Psychology

Tools

Open DOI