Touched and Changed

As I stood with a tumbler filled with gin in my right hand, heightened nerves and trepidation overcame me. I was standing in front of the final burial and resting place of my Nigerian adoptive father. It was summer of 2022—the first time I was able to travel to Calabar and see my adoptive family since his passing in 2020. COVID was of course to blame, as it prevented me from traveling. Prior to this, I fondly recall phone calls (and messaging via WhatsApp) from my home in Ohio (USA) with my adoptive mother and the rest of the family about his passing. Yet even with my amplified anxiety as I stood there, I was also oddly calm and at peace. The comfort of my adoptive mother and brothers standing beside me helped subdue the restlessness I felt.I was about to pour libation to my adoptive Papa with the support of my Nigerian family. This was not the first time I poured libation in the name of the ancestors of the Ekpe/Mgbe society. However, even though I had done it before at the request of my teachers, I am never at ease about it. Even though I was well trained on how to do it, following the proper protocol and lengthy steps, there was always a power about the process that I feared and did not completely understand. However, when my elder teachers asked me to do it, and for the sake of my adoptive father, such thoughts left as quickly as they came. Right before I started the offering my mind scrolled to one of the lessons my adoptive father taught me: to respect the knowledge my Ekpe/Mgbe teachers taught me and have confidence when it was time to demonstrate it.The moments after I successfully offered and poured the libation, relief came over me as I felt something hard to put into words. Upon finishing, my adoptive mother and bothers embraced me, smiled, and were content. After, we sat in the room beside my adoptive father's resting place chatting and catching up about the things that make one whole. At that moment I was so grateful to the Oqua family for asking me to honor our Papa and the family in their presence, as a member of the family. This was one of the many times I was deeply touched and clearly changed, and although the lasting impact is hard to articulate, the best I can offer is that it made me feel at home.While I was touched and changed, a reciprocal experience was also shared by all present. I was given a great opportunity to honor a beloved mentor through the warm feeling of acceptance by my adopted family. In return, the family had their ancestor honored through libation by someone who would normally be ignorant of and clumsy in this act of religiosity. The success of the libation demonstrated the power and fruition of their ancestor's teachings to a member of the next (and in this case, a foreign) generation; my adopted father's knowledge and good deeds continue to live on.Recent First Words and Dialogues of this journal have explored important issues and the many challenging aspects facing the fields that study African art and visual cultures, forefronting the myriad disciplinary difficulties for our readers. With this piece, I take the opportunity to switch the tone, highlighting a more positive aspect of what our disciplines have the power to do. I, like so many involved in the study of African arts, have been deeply touched and changed by the artistic expressions of Africa and the people who create, use, and ponder them. With this First Word I ask readers to “take a step back” and reflect on and share the ways in which our experiences in and around Africa have opened our eyes and touched and changed us as human beings.With such an exercise, it is my hope that a collective effort to humanize this material, our experiences, and the impact it has had on us can help to foster a “pipeline” or greater “buy in” for those unfamiliar with the galvanizing power that African art embodies. We, like most humanities fields today, must consider ways to—dare I say—maintain a healthy and steady level of interest and recruit students and advocates (most especially those indigenous to the continent and the Diaspora) for the field to flourish well into the future. Based on my research trajectory and experiences, I focus on the ways in which my long-term fieldwork and the people I met along the way in Nigeria have had a significant impact not only on my research, but, more importantly, on my worldview and life in general. I advocate that this is one of the many reasons why fieldwork can be life-changing and attractive to undertake for those venturing into the study of expressive African art and culture.Having the satisfaction of being in this field for a good number of years, I can personally attest to the stories and ways in which those involved in it have been deeply touched by the many individuals encountered in their research experiences, especially those they learned from in their fieldwork. Many of these individuals were directly responsible for our successes and, more often than not, became not only trusted mentors but lifelong friends. My focus here is not to speak only to what a researcher gains from the study of African expressive cultures or from their fieldwork experiences. I am rather interested in how self-reflective we are as scholars and how we ought to be more transparent with our fieldwork and the relationships that develop from such experiences.With the growing awareness of the importance of being transparent, ethical, and self-reflexive in scholarship and reporting of research in all areas of the academy (from translation studies to the sciences), I argue that the study of African expression is well equipped to be a leading voice and example. Self-reflexivity has long been part of fieldwork in Africa. While personal reflection is indeed important, it alone is not enough. And perhaps this is another contribution the study of African expressive cultures could offer broader interests with personal reflection and transparency in academia: We ought to also strive to be mindful of how we should forge reciprocal, mutually beneficial relationships that not only touch and change us, but also, and specifically in the case of fieldwork, positively impact the individuals from which we benefit. And if we are successful in exposing the next generation of students to the fruits of fieldwork, we, at the same time, provide guidance for how to be mindful of the ethics and reciprocity involved.If I think back to my years of training in undergraduate and graduate school, I fondly recall stories Fred Smith, Robin Poynor, and others shared with me—mostly during informal discussions outside of class, stories which imparted a palpable level of humanity to their research and personal field experience that excited me to study African expressive cultures. So many stories and life lessons that teachers, mentors, and colleagues have shared over the years come to mind. However, a question I raise here is, beyond sharing these wonderful experiences with each other in informal ways, how well do we forefront the ways in which we have been touched and changed by the study of African expressive cultures and people who grant us access to their experiences in more formal ways?In terms of the more formal outcomes of what we do, many of us first think of the publications resulting from fieldwork. I am not advocating, of course, that all articles, essays, catalogues, chapters in volumes, and books consist of merely of self-reflexive anecdotes. What I am suggesting here may not be entirely appropriate for every publishing venue. The question can be raised: Are there more direct and tangible ways for us to weave into our scholarly writing what we have personally learned and gained in our attempts to explore and understand African expression? Such lessons may be discipline-specific; however, I suspect, even more of what we gained are the broader life lessons and the more nuanced ways in which we begin to understand and view this world and our place within it.Personal anecdotes are shared in publications in several ways. Artists reflect on their own experience and researchers write their own fieldwork into their studies. Self-reflective artists often put their ideas, approaches, and expressive trajectories into print. Among these are Oche Okeke, Sokari Douglas Camp, and Ibrahim El-Salahi—just three among many powerful examples of artists that this continent and its Diaspora have to offer. Artists who work in more self-reflexive ways and choose to write or participate in interviews are examples that align with what I am suggesting in this First Word. Okeke (2002) on with and from his mother and to how art the of and his training and artistic artists can personal of view in or essays, and researchers for the most part within a of when publishing their the of scholarly scholars visual and expressive on have self-reflexive to their in my Such of personal are often in the front matter of books or examples that me in my into this field but are not to Robin and artists issues within their own who the art of their home understand already many of the issues they of the of the the for and In this offered readers of his the that his for in part to his being a who up in long before an would not the of within a have gained access through into or even those examples in the of or anecdotes being into aspects of the cultures during fieldwork Camp, and on the impact his own publications had on the to the field years after publishing of only to that his scholarly had a impact on the and for of Even years that on a self-reflexive as his own and on the and of long-term field work in a but self-reflexive and on the lasting on of his to a during his experiences in Such an experience was for as it his way for his lifelong interests in a in African art life-changing field experiences to his on and around his in an and African a more of what I am suggesting in this First Word is the way in which about the how much learned and from his with as to in his that those with in the field have touched in his live my own with my their being and with me. The same is of must in into in which art is and scholars that is a that gains or on how their to field research and interviews when more is another case the and African how during being among the from a part of the and broader of these examples have me, but as a these I often that I to more about such experiences. that have me speak in ways of how scholars may more deeply into the by In My Africa in the of a work by an African about the of African and an by and The of which how our own and experience to fieldwork what we understand a galvanizing self-reflexive on the of African in the years of the In his after the and of his family and to how their the way the about one is to be the of one has Such a is for us, especially those of us who people of another and with during our research, and in directly and and the ways in which own life or how and the This of course, to all of us, during our fieldwork and the we choose to In on personal who I am (and on how I have can argue that who we are is for our fieldwork, which in our interests and the ways in which we and our we and to who we are (and who we during and after we the field is This is even more so for those who and and and we take and fieldwork and the people we work in our or in the have a on our provide the for how we process and make of the world around made in the ways we in field are mutually through our with and Such and in the field and or that foster and and I argue that such moments ought to be not only through personal with students and colleagues but also in our scholarly as and much of our is with the and of knowledge is not merely our scholarly and I am suggesting that the ways in which our teachers and in Africa have us, touched us, and changed us is a part of the of the that our also be such life lessons learned help to and the we often to In this case of fieldwork, as a humanities we ought to to the is at the how knowledge and the relationships that make fieldwork are which in my us to be more transparent and and are of course not the only to this should they are many for ways to humanize what we do (and how we do and how that an on us, on the people with we and, I or which is on in the following is in most of this for the reciprocal and that the experiences and relationships that the for our scholarship are often left and perhaps provide even than publishing in which to reflect on how we are touched and changed by African expressive cultures and by those who have us in them. and often a more personal and more informal of and as a at the of every I into the of students who the most been given the opportunity to explore and understand the importance that Africa can have for matter they were Even before the the first of is to demonstrate why this course and are indeed important, and for their on the first of my I am also to the question on the of most students in the I be asking why is a (from the standing in front of about African My to this question up an self-reflexive with a of of I share how this its long-term to fieldwork, and most importantly, the and of the people I have with and in Nigeria and those who have from me have made an impact on my life and have changed me into a more While I this on the first of class, I also to these and when course appropriate I have embraced this of and transparency with my I have something has not only “buy into the class, but most do their over the are excited to be in class, and even to the than those who always to be in matter what I As a I have many students and in other of and I am not about art or art but those who in and other disciplines beyond the of of the best and most I have from students is that my and my to African art is, to their In the to be more and self-reflective with the students on the first of was not my own but that of a I came to that my students were about my experiences in Nigeria and many me that they to the years, my to my to to for research and I how and of me into and more in summer of the and as I how Ekpe/Mgbe and me into the visual and of knowledge of the society. And I the importance of my adoptive father and who me to the of of the Ekpe/Mgbe more see hope especially those who do not personally me, do not my in sharing what I in the I in way these experiences to come as or be as at what I have In all I share this with great it is not about me. It is about the and who me their to me their on their as an The is from the of the and with I work in is best as a way to forge and In the of one must be with and as to the of and As and the process taught me, if the process is about and my work should also be as the of shared experiences and that my effort to a about in my and by the in and I a of time and my into the of the process that I was to for my transparency is that and asked me, even that I be and I came to understand that it was not my In the case of my the of my teachers, and is for my own fieldwork and the of my study which how my teachers to their to me, and in how they to be through my work In this way my was not my It was through among the and me. helped me and opened my eyes to those aspects that most to and to a more of on my It was through their and that I could what they were training me to to others the knowledge and lessons they on to me. one of the most of a of like Ekpe/Mgbe is to and on what one has learned to those my I time that of what I and learned was and my adoptive father and mother who me into their family as their foster when my life and in Nigeria with me during a of research, my adoptive father and mother into Ekpe/Mgbe and also into the family as their (and in a I never to to up how my is also my with our adopted family we also The way in which a family in and for in the case of and me, was such a and act that we Such is an of to a one that should relationships that from our adoptive family were life and our to and I to our Nigerian family. As an expression of our when our own family was to we the honor to our adoptive Papa to name our which was by our adoptive father since it was the name of a of the This is the and of which our adoptive father was and the that and me and I are to have the Oqua family in our and our adoptive father was adoptive mother me that the feeling is our and I were even touched that and the Oqua family us as of the family in The family also me to a for which I with great and to many individuals during my time in and we continue our relationships via phone calls and like relationships on reciprocity are and every individuals come to and of their are and and I hope that readers can understand how important their are to me. was one of my teachers, with I a of during my lessons with or at other times when we each on was my elder with I shared so much and from I learned so was the of that me and the I had about his among one of the people who of his way to my eyes to the of I deeply and often think about his and I was honored that his family asked me to share of with and and to write a of on of my family for his of my best in this world is we are as they in I hope that readers of my how much taught me, not about about being an in or about but about life in and the that come with it. In the I focus on as a I clearly how we how of our the of the and As a field I was by who helped me the most in with and the and those who are on the of the art course, I was well and of these things before fieldwork, but more than opened my eyes to see things more and from and nuanced It was not that this it was more in the way the world in the of our how how in his and in his to his father for what of this me and of was our and for each other that to our an on reciprocity in with artists who make a from their art and who work in through to for The his own and is by these As has to me a number of times over the years, it is only of our that we are able to do this in the way that we have been touched and changed by the beneficial relationships with those from the field such as (and is of reciprocity well as how we in the and the of it should never be a As wonderful and as life-changing as fieldwork can I have learned over my to it that great with it. fieldwork as a of and but in it is more about with people than and are and power and that come with with those who live in especially if the researcher is from the and even more especially if that is this of the is to from an of as time and place and as a formal of to an of as an as of to the relationships and knowledge that are and during fieldwork in ways that and self-reflexive We must never or of the that fieldwork and in Africa was from must always be and with the that to the of knowledge during fieldwork. We must be with how knowledge is and the if fieldwork is done and with reciprocity in the should all involved and to our and our should never only the should be mutually shared by all in me that one who fieldwork or especially in areas of the world that were and on the and merely we like it or not, in to of we part of the we to understand. Such experiences are and may to positive and moments for This is of course the of human relationships that is me, and I can attest to those with I in the good always the is one of the reasons I back and am in the same advocate that we should not only strive to be and transparent with our in this of what we do in the how we do it, but also share the ways in which our fieldwork, and the people we work with have touched our and changed our However, we should also be mindful and with how we forge In a case from my fieldwork, during a back to Calabar in the summer of in me that was issues with his who was at the time years asked me, of all his and family to to and in what a father of their I was honored and by his request and it up with how much trusted me to do shared this with me, I my confidence in his request and made it a point, in the way I to time with his and to on of his father. the time I was to I could see their change and was touched by my and I was in touched by the and on our Even when we over the phone I am back home in I ask to to his to up on as perhaps an can take the of many of and Such examples that I have from my colleagues over the years and back to the in of and for I have done the three and also in other of reciprocity over the With of be to but in with I have those I have many times to support and the I can attest that I am not alone in this in terms of researchers or to those we have to from the However, we do not often this of reciprocity of the and the of it may I have the of and fieldwork in to with and of art from artists I to be that this is of course from for knowledge during fieldwork, which I much Such a much more than I am able to offer in this First Word. we like it or not, in is as an of reciprocity by those who are to my time in the lessons I learned there and the ways I have been touched to my my teachers, my being given the honor to pour libation to my adoptive father in the of my adoptive to a greater and more to people of all of being a father, a greater of the of what art may and that art should be an part of life and experience rather than to in a I that more of us reflect how fieldwork and the how African visual and expressive cultures has touched and changed In the same I advocate for an awareness of how such life-changing moments and must on those who have helped us, especially in the case of fieldwork, are touched and My hope is that such an effort among all of research that human

Media studies · Psychoanalysis · Reciprocity (cultural anthropology) · Sociology · Counseling, Therapy, and Family Dynamics · Higher Education Practises and Engagement · History · Psychology · Social Psychology · Social Work Education and Practice

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